If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
