haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
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If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
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But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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