There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
it was like eating out sand paper
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
