I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think your dad took our porno
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
