maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
