Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
