Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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