Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
