hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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