Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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