can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize