kristin has been a bad kristin
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Alive.
So much puke
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
