I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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