theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize