I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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