That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
