Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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