oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
