There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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