I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
