Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
