pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
