We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I hate all girls vehemently.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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