You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
