my sisters under your porch take her home
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
