I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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