:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i believe in u and ur pee
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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