I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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