I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
