I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize