hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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