i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
