Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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