he wants to bone in the snuggie
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Terrible idea I love it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
