I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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