You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
