I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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