So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
