My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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