Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
