You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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