two words: eviction party
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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