I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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