Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Where is the hickey?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize