I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
