Welp...herpes.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
