whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I deserve this hangover.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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