is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
