they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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