Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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