Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
