You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I touched a dick in church today
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
