its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
