i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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