Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
