great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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