yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
