I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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