After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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