i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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