What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize