bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i will never coherently bang her
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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