We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
