i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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